Well here we are again on board the old Insomnia Express to Shitty Street, Menopausetown. Come, sit by me – let us talk of hot flushes, night sweats, crazyarse dreams, high blood pressure, imaginary ailments, runaway weight gain, mood swings, brittle nails and free floating anxiety, not to mention the dry skin and umm orifices, for want of a better word. 

I loathe and detest this. I’ve run out of podcasts and radio programmes to listen to to help me drift off. I need white noise, it seems. 

I could just get up and go to work but a) nobody tends to get married at 2am and b) if for some reason they did, I doubt they’d want a torn faced sweaty insomniac in a Tesco nightie crabbitly pronouncing them married. (I know! It’s mental! Old Lindsey Two Jobs marrying folk! It still amazes me that an idiot like me is allowed to do it. I get really bad imposter syndrome. I basically just go “yadda yadda yadda, by the power of Grayskull I blah blah blah…BOOM – yer married”. It’s a weird thing, innit? Yet it’s such a privilege. Most enjoyable. What a time to be alive. Actually what a time to be awake, never mind alive. 

I’ve a craving for something sweet like oh I don’t know a three day old Tesco Finest salted caramel cookie but no wait Tucker (and it’s no coincidence his name rhymes with that word) stole the bag off the kitchen table and ate it while I was bringing in the wheelie bin. Nutella jar and a spoon it is, then. And a podcast. Sleep well. Oh, you ARE? Ah. Just me then. I’m not even jealous. Nuh uh. Not me. No. 


2 thoughts on “Toot toot! All aboard the Insomnia Express. 

  1. I love your blog! Pat Crook put me on to you as she thought I would enjoy your humour, and I really do. I relate to the things you write about menopause and sweet cravings (made worse by the forbidden fruit, being type 2 diabetic), and just really enjoy your day to day musings. Thank you for continuing to make me laugh about things that also make me want to cry.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw Shona thank you! And thanks to the lovely Pat for recommending! It really is just a stream of consciousness but I’m glad I bring pleasure to so many through my ramblings! Well…to you and Pat…
      I’m about to walk the dug then get settled down to more nonsense blogging x


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