Wednesday. Well it can shit off. 

Woke up this morning full of fury-by-proxy so decided to shake it off and approach Wednesday with a positive mental attitude.  I’m ending it with pizza induced heartburn straight from the bowels of HELL and a massive sad about elephants. (See Storyville: Circus Elephant Rampage, BBC Four). 

Good things about Wednesday: *tumbleweed*

Rubbish things about Wednesday: Arrogant drivers

Ungrateful wretches

Lazy buggers

Heartburn inducing pizza

The office – for want of a better word – “fatwa” on confectionery. 

The Next Directory the size and girth of a plump toddler, left on my doorstep, unbidden. 

My face, which by 9:10am resembled a well slapped arse. 

Elephants. 

Lessons learned:

Don’t eat pizza, especially in a hurry. 

Never agree to office food related sanctions. 

Tell Next to shit off ASAP. 

Avoid people at all costs. Especially the kind in cars. 

Apply more makeup to disguise scowly slapped arse face which inevitably reveals itself. 

Don’t watch programmes about elephants. 

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